I said..."Stay"

[nitefisher]

....Went to the grocery store the other day with our new puppy we adopted from the rescue agency.....I rolled the windows down a bit as he strectched out across the back seat. As I walked away from the car....I shook my finger towards the car and emphatically said...."stay"...."stay do you hear me?"....I said "stay"!.....About that time the driver of a nearby car...a pretty blonde young lady, gave me a strange look and said...."Why don't you just put it in park?"

[Cwheed]

Nite F bringin the funny ....Do not quit your day job:D

[superfly2579]

very funny lol the wife likes that one

[superfly2579]

here's one for you.

A women comes in naked and tells her husbund he can do what ever he wants to to her tonight!!!!!!! guy says hmmm ok so he ties her up......................then goes FISHIN!!!!!!

[superfly2579]

ONE MORE lol


There were four ducks that got arrested while messing around at the pond. The judge orders the ducks to come in one at a time to speak their piece.
The first duck comes in.
"What`s your name, son?" the judge asks.
"Duck," replied the duck.
"What are you in for?" the judge asks.
"Well, I was sitting at the pond blowing bubbles, and the cop came by and arrested me."
The judge said "Okay, send in the next duck."
The next duck came in. His name was "Duck, Duck," and he told the exact same story as the first duck.
After his examination, the judge asked for the third duck to be sent in. The third duck`s name was "Duck, Duck, Duck," and he told the same story as the first two.
Finally, the judge sent for the fourth duck.
As he came in, the judge said, "Let me guess, your name is Duck, Duck, Duck, Duck, right?"
The duck replied, "No sir, my name is Bubbles."

[nitefisher]

LOL....love this shit........Ha....Ha....!!!

[nitefisher]

.....exactly what I would have done.....LOL

[superfly2579]

lol................................

[Skinny Chicken]

Points to ponder.







If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?












How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?






Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?






Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?





Why does a round pizza come in a square box?






What disease did cured ham actually have?






How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?






Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?






If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?






Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?






Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?






Why do doctors leave the room while you change?


They're going to see you naked anyway.






Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?






Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?






If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?






Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?






If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?






Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?


They're both dogs!






If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME ****, why didn't he just buy dinner?






If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?






If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?






Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?






Why did you just try singing the two songs above?






Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?






Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

[Skinny Chicken]

God Bless Texas!!!!




A very gentle Texas lady was driving across the Pecos High Bridge in Texas one day. As she neared the middle of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin' to (means 'getting ready to' in Texas ) jump. She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't jump, think of your dear mother and father."

He replied, "Mom and Dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."

She said, "Well, think of your wife and children."

He replied, "I'm not married and I don't have any kids."

She said, "Well, Remember the Alamo .."

He replied, ''What's the Alamo ?''

She replied, ''Well, bless your heart, just go ahead and jump, you dumb arss Yankee.''
__________________

[nitefisher]

.....that dumb ....S.O.B.

[Icechest Angler]

Now that's a keeper!